To The Stink Bomber of Jetblue Flight 670

courtesy of cartoonchrisYou passed through the airport’s checkpoint undetected. Little did the security folks know that you were in possession of a deadly weapon, an atomic blaster that could damage olfactory senses till kingdom come.
As soon as the airplane’s doors shut tight, you unleashed your silent but deadly missiles. Stink bombs after stink bombs exploded everywhere. There was no time to put up the odor shield. The unsuspecting victims, me included, reeled from the impact, while you sat, undetected, anonymous, the only one enjoying this fart fest. Every noxious fume ball that ripped from the posterior orifice of your body ripped a corresponding hole in the ozone layer. You were merciless with your air strikes. For all I know, my genes could be mutating right now from all that toxic onslaught.
For this, I accuse you of contributing to the destruction of the environment and humanity as a whole. Judging from the disgusted looks of those around me, I think I know the jury’s decision. The verdict : guilty as charged. The punishment : solitary confinement, and a lifetime ban against broccoli, beans and other gas-forming foods. Arise, Stink Bomber, and leave your flatulent ways behind. You have caused damage enough.
Signed, your victim.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. 4skywalker
    Jun 18, 2012 @ 09:49:20

    It wasn’t me so don’t be lookin’ in my direction. Also, weren’t you the one with the nickname “tots”??? 🙂

    at the very least, that discharge may have helped propel the plane faster…or did it?

    Reply

    • emmblu
      Jun 18, 2012 @ 19:56:42

      @Harold, Flo and Anjeli, thanks for commiserating with me. However, let me reassure you that I was not the culprit. If I were, I would have been the one in the corner looking innocent, hiding a Chesire cat’s grin. Instead, I was the one strapped to my seat, cussing the assailant in at least four different languages, the last one I invented out of indignation and outrage ;0

      Reply

  2. Florence
    Jun 18, 2012 @ 17:39:30

    Hilarious!!! Dili ikaw to Em ? Pa simple lang.

    Reply

  3. mari anjeli
    Jun 18, 2012 @ 18:10:01

    Oh, ew. :S

    Reply

  4. laxychukgrav
    Jun 18, 2012 @ 22:11:13

    The stewardess should have announced “Hapit na ‘ta mo-landing. Kadtong nangutot wa pa baya ka-plete.” Aron ang culprit will protest loudly “Nakaplete na ko, oy!”

    Reply

  5. emmblu
    Jul 03, 2012 @ 17:58:59

    Good one, Czgrl ;D

    Reply

  6. Carrie Rubin
    Feb 27, 2013 @ 06:46:25

    And yet another reason why I hate flying. How gross. I feel your pain on this one.

    Funny post! Thanks for stopping by my site!

    Reply

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