I Told Ben Affleck “No”

I went inside a hotel one afternoon, and in the lobby, I saw Ben Affleck. He was trying to soothe a visibly upset Jennifer Garner, to the delight of photogs greedily snapping their pics. I thought to myself, “What has he done now? ” Then I chuckled and said, “Maybe the right question is, who did he do now?” as I recalled all those tabloid stories of him with other women. 

That night, to my surprise, I turned around and found myself face-to-face with Ben Affleck at the bar. I could not vouch for his state of mind, whether drunk, dazed or demented, but one thing was sure: his face was just a few inches away from me and he was puckering up for a kiss. 

In that nanosecond before our lips could touch, I finally figured out with absolute certainty the answer to a question I never before knew the answer to: who is your celebrity crush? In that instant, I realized it wasn’t Brad Pitt, George Clooney or that guy in “300.”  Nope. My Hollywood crush was this demi-god standing in front of me in all his hunky glory, square jaws, dimpled chin and all, Mr. Ben Affleck. (Sorry, Keanu. You’ll always be number one but you’re nowhere in sight at the moment.)

What’s a girl to do? Grab that mug and plant a big, wet one on those luscious lips? Swoon and let him have his way and plead temporary insanity later if caught?

Even more astonishing than having Big Ben leaning over for a kiss was my reaction to it: I pushed him away, gently, although  oh so reluctantly, all the while chiding him and reminding him to behave himself. 

What! Who does that! Who in her right senses pushes Ben Affleck away? Who in her  right mind tells Ben Affleck no? 

I’m embarrassed to say that as soon as I said no, I instantly regretted it, and was ready to grab him right back, when the unthinkable and unforgivable happened: I woke up!

Alas! That amazing moment with Ben Affleck was but a dream, and I wasted it by telling him no. 

As I grudgingly accepted reality, I could not help but marvel at my self-restraint and my moral uprighteousness in telling Ben Affleck no. I was so darn proud of myself! Well, even if it was just a dream… It was so vivid it was practically real. And even if I instantly regretted it and was going to say yes, what mattered was I initially said no. So there. Not a lot of women can say that. 

So here I am, one of the very few who told Ben Affleck “no.” Now if you ask me if given another chance, would I act the same way, well, all I can say is this: send one of those dreams my way again, and I’ll let you know the answer. Wink! Wink!