Confessions of A Serial Killer

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I plead guilty. The blood of the not-so-innocent stain my hands. I took away life, not once, not twice, but over and over again. Day and night. Night and day. Time did not matter. I hunted them down with a single purpose: vengeance. I could smell their fear. I could sense them cowering in dark spaces. But there was no hiding from someone hell-bent on revenge.

I admit it. The first time wasn’t easy. I wasn’t as heartless as I had thought. My hand faltered as did my courage. Then I reminded myself of what they had done. The pain they inflicted. The horror they caused. This caused me to steady my hand. Courage came flooding back. Then I struck the first blow.

Crrrrunch…Life exiting its body made that sickening sound. Yet its death made me feel strangely alive. Triumph surged through my body like a bolt of lightning. Revenge tasted sweet like the blood of a fallen foe.

The exhilaration of the first kill did nothing to sate my appetite. If anything, it made me hunger for more. I quickly found another victim. Then another. And another. Until I lost count. It was a bloodbath. Without mercy. Without remorse. Without a thought of the loved ones they might have left behind. I had become a mass murderer with a body count that would make Jack the Ripper blush.

I offer no excuses. Before today, I was a law-abiding citizen. I followed all the rules. I brushed my dog’s coat every day. I bathed her every week or so. I adhered to the principles of good grooming like a good pet owner. Then one day, I saw my dog scratching herself. At first, I tried to ignore it. Then the scratching grew worse. I tried to reason it away. Could the scratching be from sheer boredom? Was she perplexed perhaps at life’s questions? While I thought up excuses for this unusual behavior, that’s when I had my first sighting of THEM! What appeared to be a dark mole suddenly came to life. A tiny speck of black jumped from one spot of her white coat to another. Had I imagined what I thought I saw? I quickly parted her hair looking for evidence. I did not have to look far. One looked up at me in surprise and scurried away. I checked under her belly. I found a pair of lovers locked in tight embrace. Another was mating in earnest. That’s when it hit me. Fleas!

My beloved pooch, whom I have tried to shield from natural and man-made calamities, was at this very moment under siege from these vile creatures! How they must have found her pristine coat so alluring! How they must have feasted on her virginal flesh! How they must have sneered at her pain and discomfort! Barbarians! Parasites! Hooligans! How dare they torture my doggie so!

That’s when I knew what I had to do. Declare war. Purge their ranks. Kill without mercy. Annihilate at all cost.

I went to the artillery store. Loaded up on heavy-duty ammunition. Flea combs. Flea powder. Flea collars. Flea drops. You would think that would have been enough. But it wasn’t. The thought of my dog at the mercy of these blood-suckers made me see red. I vowed not to rest until the last one lay crushed at my hands.

That’s when I became a one-woman vigilante squad. A female Rambo fighting a war against fleadom. I hunted them down armed only with a pair of eye glasses, a spray bottle and a thirst for revenge. I may have been just an army of one, but I got the job done.

So here I stand before you. Bloodied but unrepentant. Judge me if you will. Condemn me if you must. Take me away if you need to. I plead guilty to each and every count. I had sworn to protect my loyal canine companion, and I intend to uphold that promise. My only plea: let me see this crusade to the very end. Then, and only then, will I accept the fate that awaits me, a Serial Flea Killer. And as they drag me away in shackles, jeered at by all the flea rights activists of the world, I will shout to the world “Down with the flea and all its vampire comrades! May they languish in anemic existence! I regret nothing, though I sacrificed everything, because I did it all for the love of a dog I call Pup.”

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. 4skywalker
    Jul 18, 2011 @ 21:56:35

    Unsa man imong “flea” bargain sa prosecution?
    You did say you “flead” guilty! Is this to shorten your sentence??? ūüėÄ

    So is pup rid of all infestation? you know, those things are probably jumping between your other dogs and cats.


  2. emmblu
    Jul 18, 2011 @ 22:13:25

    As always, it’s a fleasure to hear from you, Skywalker.
    Flease be assured that all four-legged creatures within striking distance have been declared vermin-free. I cannot say the same about the bipeds in the same household.


  3. emmblu
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 20:19:32

    Copied and pasted from my FB profile…

    Augustus, Marites, Gardenia and Balot like this..

    Emma : Thanks, cuz. Thanks, Tess. Thanks to everyone who read my post ‚ô•

    July 18 at 9:17pm · Ychu: Nice, Czy Girl! Abi nako, maipa-preso ka na, Czy girl! Kyawan gud ko!

    July 19 at 4:37am ¬∑Balot : ARRRGH!!!!! i abhor flea bites,these little suckers gives me those brown,unsightly,itchy brown spots that lingers for months!!!!! No need to deliberate,with all matters presented,it is a unanimous jury verdict…….NOT GUILTY!!!!! go go go kill more..hehehe

    July 19 at 9:22am · Emma: Kinda scary to know all my readers are as violent as the writer *.*

    July 19 at 10:11am ¬∑Gardenia: hahahaha….typical Emma…I thought unsa na…hehe!!! funny gyd ka Em!

    July 19 at 2:58pm · Emma: Funny personality to match the funny face ;>

    July 19 at 10:43pm ¬∑ Gardenia: hahahahaha…kaw gyd Em!!!


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