Day 9: Exploring The Hilton Grounds

Ninth Day June 24

Saying good morning on my daily walks is so yesterday.I have perfected my greeting to people I meet on the street. I have plastered an interested but not intrusive look on my face. If somebody passes by within a smile-mile radius, I just work the corner of my mouth. If they are aloof, I lift one corner of my mouth to acknowledge their presence . If friendly, I lift the two corners of my mouth in a semblance of a smile. Now is that clever of me or what!

Feeling smug about myself, I continue my hour-long walk in absolute harmony with the world, until an errant sprinkler turned towards me and unleashed a tsunami of recycled water on my unsuspecting self. The geyser turned me into a soppy wet, quivering mass of indignation. Needless to say, I hit the shower first thing when I got to the room before anyone had a chance to witness my humiliation.

We had been all over the Big Island checking out the tourist spots but today we decided to explore the Hilton grounds itself. The Hilton Waikoloa Village is a hotel unlike any other. To describe it would be a monumental task. So I have copied and pasted what the Hilton drumbeaters have written about this wonderland. Here goes…

“Situated along a nine-mile long stretch of sunny shoreline known as the Kohala coast, Hilton provides the ultimate luxury resort – the Hilton Waikoloa Village® hotel. There is no other property like it in Hawaii. Nestled within 62 oceanfront acres, this Big Island Hawaii hotel has everything – a four-acre swimming and snorkeling lagoon, three freshwater swimming pools, sun-drenched beach, interactive dolphin encounter program, waterfalls, exotic gardens, trams, canal boats and more than $7 million in Polynesian and Asian artwork. Offering breathtaking tropical gardens, abundant wildlife, tranquil waterways, and the impeccable service of the Hilton name, this Waikoloa resort is truly a destination in itself.”

Impressive, right? Believe me. It’s even more impressive experienced first-hand. Like the Hilton Village in Waikiki, the master planners of this place were not content with just building a hotel, they set out to create Eden as they envisioned it to be. They did a mighty good job at it, too.

We decided to just relax by the pool. Lounging at the poolside affords you front- row tickets to the show that’s called humanity. You are treated to an array of shapes from beach ball round to coca cola hourglass to matchstick skinny to Barney pears. Differing degrees of sun damage manifest as “UV Ray-Virgin White” to “Sunburned Lobster Red” to “Charred Beyond Recognition Black.” Beachgoers parade in various stages of undress from Band-aid bikinis to Burqa-esque cover-ups that would make any extreme Islamic militant proud. I, of course, have my swim wear on, but I am crouching inside a cabana zealously guarding my mass of dimpled cellulite from prying eyes. Nothing can lure me from my hiding spot, except the prospect of food that is.

Of course nothing whets the appetite of a self-destructive human vacuum more than the exposure of her saddlebags and spare tire, so pretty soon I had convinced my brood that in the name of cultural immersion, we needed to try the local cuisine. Pretty soon, we were gorging on beef stew and imu kalua pig with cabbage and onions. We also tried the loco moco burger which essentially was a plate of steamed rice topped with a burger patty and fried egg smothered with brown gravy. By the end of the day, we were up to our ears in culture…

My hunger pangs momentarily lulled, I decided to do a little sun worshipping. Bad idea. As soon as I stepped out of my cabana, the sun zapped every single hair follicle into nuclear nirvana. I know I was raised in the tropics, but there is something about the Hawaiian sun that feels like a blast of gamma rays on your skin. One thing I learned from this: sunworshipper I am not and never will be.

Not wanting to be called a spoil sport,I decided to paddleboat around the lagoon with Melanie. Seems harmless enough, right? Problem is, Hilton has an armada of giant turtles, called honu, that swim around the lagoon, too. I don’t now if it’s just me but I have a problem sharing water space with giant amphibians. One flick of that thickly-padded flippper or a brush with one of those heavily-armored shells can overturn our paddle boat, of that I was convinced. So it was with great misgivings that I navigated the waters of the lagoon with Melanie, embarrassing her with my shrieks and nervous prattle. I don’t know who was more relieved that the ride had ended, me or her.

The day’s adventures over, I rewarded myself with a warm bath filled with plumeria bath crystals. Almost immediately, I zonked out, dreaming of paddling peacefully down a mercifully turtle-free lagoon.

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. balot freires
    Jun 16, 2010 @ 12:15:12 [Edit]

    Hey Em had a grin on my face just reading this article cuz i so can relate to hiding all my flaws even if my kids would prod me to just go with the flow and have fun…hehehe..can’t help being paranoid that people are stalking you and all they talk about is your love handles…nice one..enjoyed so much!!!!!

    Reply

    • emmblu
      Jun 16, 2010 @ 13:28:49 [Edit]

      Mao gyud, Balot. When there’s “so much of us to love,” there’s also so much of us to hide! My friend told me that when I’m skinny, hambuggera kaayo ko and I’ll insist on wearing a halter top in the middle of winter. Kung manambok kono, magkupo ug magsweater daw ko in the heat of summer. Hayyy. I dream of the olden days when voluptuous was in and skinny meant you were sick or poor. Viva Oink Oink :3 :3

      Reply

  2. balot freires
    Jun 17, 2010 @ 09:56:03 [Edit]

    HAHAHA so true, if you have the body to show then flaunt it..not that you’re a narcissist.It’s ok kay what matters most is the face value…totally can relate again nga sa summer mag long sleeves gihapon..i tell my detractors nga idol nako si Maricel Soriano kay pirme lang na siya mag long sleeves pod..hahaha

    Reply

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