CALM AND DRY-EYED

20120906-073326.jpg
I often appear calm and dry-eyed. Full-blown hysterics is a luxury I cannot afford. There’s a household to run, two kids to consider, and a million other things to take care of. My sorrow is not a downpour that is steady and constant. Rather, it’s like the tide that rises and falls at the mercy of memories and emotions. Every now and then, a tsunami of grief overcomes me, leaving devastation in its wake, but I have no choice but to pick up the pieces in its aftermath and move on. That may be the reason sleep is reluctant to visit me at night, and why it leaves my bed so hastily at the wee hours of the morning.

I may be good at hiding this pain, but that doesn’t make the pain any less deeper or any more bearable. They say time heals all wounds. They better be right. It is no fun being awakened at 4:24 in the morning with an aching hole in your heart ūüė¶

  • Allan Sacris¬†Hold on to your Faith real tight, and to the memories for they can fill up all sorts of emptiness.
    August 14, 2012 at 4:49am via mobile · Like
  • Ychu¬†Balberan¬†Lubrica¬†Tight hugs for you, my dear sister.
    August 14, 2012 at 5:06am via mobile · Like
  • Charina Fernandez Lopez¬†Big, big hugs Achie Ging. Please find comfort in knowing that your grief is most definitely shared by us & the rest of the family. It might be stormy now but with God, I know it won’t be raining forever. Stay strong! We love you!
    August 14, 2012 at 5:27am via mobile · Like
  • Sheila Hiramoto¬†Emma you should be a writer, you have a way of expressing yourself unlike anyone I have ever known. I don’t know what happened to your sweet husband, but I know he was blessed to be your mate for all these years. You don’t have to be strong 24 hours aday. You can give yourself permission to grieve. You have lost your soul mate. Everyone that knows you knows what a strong woman you are, and that will never change, but it is ok to take a day off from being strong and have an all day pity party. Please call me if you need anything at all…..I can come over and run the household and take care of the kids for a day….and you can just take care of you. Even though I haven’t seen you for a long time I am always here for you if you need me for anything. I love you! (702-885-1823)
    August 14, 2012 at 7:03am via mobile · Like · 1
  • Carol Gallardo¬†GOD is with you.
  • John Plebi Lu¬†Auntie, we will miss uncle ronnie..¬†¬†Until now di ghapon¬†q kadawat¬†sa nahitabo.. Pro we think nlng¬†na he’s there at states nag work lng¬†ghapon.
    August 14, 2012 at 7:22am via mobile · Like
  • Agustin Solis Villanueva¬†¬∑¬†16 mutual friends

    keep the faith… when everything else seem to fail a prayer or two will always help you through….knock and it shall be open.. seek and you shall find says the Lord!
    August 14, 2012 at 7:26am via mobile · Like
  • Bimz Fernandez¬†Ging you’re doing a good job of being headstrong and appear¬†like nothing significant happened to you and your girls. If a lot of us can’t help getting awakened in our sleep any time of the day unbelieving of this sudden loss, how much times over it is for for¬†you. Underneath those covers I can see the turmoil brewing and avalance of emotions and thoughts that’ll be running over you sooner or later if they haven’t yet. Keep those covers if you may but never hesitate to let it all go anywhere, anytime, until they become manageable. I’m sure you’ve figured them out how and you know a lot of us is rooting for you! Most of all, keep in touch with The Lord Almighty!
    August 14, 2012 at 7:59am via mobile · Like
  • Ao Lu¬†wishing you all the best auntie and sooner or later, hope you can move on. Stay strong auntie…
    August 14, 2012 at 8:10am via mobile · Like
  • Harold Borland¬†Ging, your trust & faith in God & love to Chessa & Mel and the good memories of Ron, will help you heal the hurt & emptiness you feel …
    August 14, 2012 at 8:14am via mobile · Like
  • Easter Carrasco¬†Dela Cruz¬†Praying for you…
    August 14, 2012 at 10:46am via mobile · Like
  • Balot Flores¬†Em, i admire your ability in trying to face adversity and major detour in life with a renewed spirit and not come out defeated…Every tomorrow has two handles, we can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of Faith!!!! Give time time…take care Em…call me anytime!
    August 14, 2012 at 11:51am via mobile · Like
  • Rose Suico¬†You brought tears in my eyes, and memories came back when the time I loss my Dad at my young age. Please be brave like my Mom. Never look at the suffering and adversity something to be hated and avoided but rather to corroborate His power that He did it for a purpose that we human beings cannot fathom. St Paul said ” The sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory to come”. God bless you Emma and take care
  • Julius Fernandez¬†Always thinking of you! I don’t know one person who is not. Many prayers of peace go out to you.
    August 14, 2012 at 6:16pm via mobile · Like
  • Anita Bishop¬†Beautifully written….Just remember on the days that you think that you’re not going to make it..God has you cradled in his arms, walking you through the storm.¬†!
    August 14, 2012 at 7:48pm via mobile · Like
  • Elsie Romy David¬†Ging, I admire the strength you have shown during this trying time, but it’s okay to show your vulnerability too. Hold on to your faith and trust in the Lord. This too shall pass. Always remember we are here for you and we all share your pain. We love you, Chessa and Mel .
    August 14, 2012 at 8:12pm via mobile · Like
  • Cosette¬†Sabanal¬†Very well said my dear, and be consoled that it is not only you who feels the way as you have said it. The beauty of what you feel is the way how beautifully you said it, and your ability to share the treasure of your feelings. Take care, and God Bless you my friend…..
    August 14, 2012 at 9:08pm via mobile · Like
  • Efoh¬†Lebasi¬†You are always remembered Em in our prayers.
    August 14, 2012 at 9:20pm via mobile · Like
  • JoRaq Lim¬†Achie¬†Ging, we are all here for you. We share your loss and pain during this trying times. Our continued prayers and thoughts are with you, Mel and Chessa. Please let us know when you want the cousins to do a sleep-over..
    August 14, 2012 at 10:04pm via mobile · Like
  • Lindy Cortes¬†Ging, I’m just around the corner, we’re here for you! Just call, for sure it won’t be a “miss call”! Luv u Ging, Chessa and Mel!
    August 14, 2012 at 11:26pm via mobile · Like
  • Joy Balberan¬†my dear, dear sister, how i¬†wish i¬†were there right now to even just hold your hand
    August 15, 2012 at 1:18am via mobile · Like
  • Emma Lu¬†Once again, I want to express my thanks to everyone for their words of support and encouragement. I am sorry if I don’t always answer every PM, text or call. Grief is an emotionally draining and mentally exhausting process, as I have discovered. Often, I don’t understand my emotions. Sometimes, I feel “normal,” at times, numb, every now and then, hollow, and often, raw. Words, not tears, are how I express my anguish.
    When I wrote the above post at 4 in the morning yesterday, Chessa was woken up at the same time by music playing on her laptop. The laptop had been off and the song playing was not on her playlist. She checked the FB on her phone and my post was the first thing she saw. I am sure there is a logical explanation for this incident, but sometimes it makes you wonder…
    August 15, 2012 at 7:07am via mobile · Like · 3
  • Ao Lu¬†maybe uncle ronnie’s still there..
    August 15, 2012 at 7:54am via mobile · Like
  • Leslie Acosta¬†Emma, my heart aches for you. You and the girls have been in my thoughts and prayers everyday. I wonder how you will pick up the pieces and when I read your posts, all I can do is cry. I just want to be supportive and there for you. You know I am just right around the corner. We could take a walk around the park and just cry our eyes out, it might feel good. It sounds as though you are grieving appropriately, it just can’t be easy. The time it takes to heal this wound may be long, so just be patient and try to relish in all those great memories.
    August 15, 2012 at 9:27am via mobile · Like · 1
  • Gladys Pabalan Fernandez¬†Achie Ging, we are all here thinking and praying for your continued strength and peace… Please let me know if there’s anything at all that you need.
    August 15, 2012 at 5:20pm via mobile · Like
  • Michael U. Obenieta¬†Oh, my!¬†¬†Sorry to know about your loss, Emz! God bless your family.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: