Grief is No Laughing Matter

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Cry-out session with Chessa last night. We realized the reason we seem to cope as well as we have is that nothing seems real. It just seems that he is away on some big vacation, and any minute now, he’ll come strolling in with presents for us and pictures to share. The only time it seemed real was at the viewing and the funeral. That’s when we had a chance to cry our hearts out. This past month has been a whirlwind of activities from funeral arrangements, novena, paperwork, clean-up to dealing with the flood of sympathy. We actually haven’t had a chance to think or feel, except in the middle of the night when our sorrow overwhelms us. Lately, though, the armor’s been cracking. We both have found ourselves crying at random times. Me, when I got his death certificate, I wept like a baby at the cemetery, in my car and at all the offices I had to go to for his paperwork. Chessa has been weepy at work and has been unable to sleep lately. We both miss him terribly. But if we are in a sorry state, there is someone who is even worse. Ronnie’s baby hasn’t really cried or talked about him much. She’s the one we’re most worried about because it’s gonna hit her bad one of these days. God, we need professional help. This grief process is no joke…

  • Manolito M. Seno emmz…. just take it easy….. i know how you feel…. you had the same feeling with my mom when my papa died…. but she had already recuperated from the wary feelings of missing papa… an open secret she used was just to keep herself pre-occupied with things to do…despite of her having retired from government service….life in this world works that way….be strong for all you know He is with you always……DIBA DIBA DIBA….HEHEHE…..
  • Julius Fernandez Emma Lu, Chessing Lu & Melanie Lu! Stay strong! We’re all here for you.
  • Jeanne Agdamag Suria Hi Em! It’s only time that can heal. Take it one day at a time and b4 u know it….there’s something special in store 4 u. God bless.
  • Noel Pilapil Burgos Em,,, I’m ptetty sure ang gusto ni Ronnie nga maka recuperate naka. You know how Ronnie is Em. Malipayon nga tao si Ronnie Em. I know it’s not easy. Malipay si Ronnie kung makakita siya ninyo nga malipayon nasad mo Em. Take care ha?
  • Debbie Hernandez Big hug!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Angel Reyes Emma.my heart goes out to you and your girls.god bless.we miss u Lu.
  • Nancy Sarmiento Stay strong Emma. God bless u & the girls.
  • May Retada em;i understand the feeling very well… from the “medical ” point of view,we deal with it most of the time.personally,one-day-at-a time lang una ta…learning to live with the pain takes a lot of courage..one that i KNOW YOU HAVE….Bless you and the girls…
  • Anita Bishop I can’t say that I know your pain Emma, but I do know the heart break from the lost of my mother & my first born child. So just take it one day at a time & don’t feel bad because you cry. It’s okay…your tears consoles your heart! Just know that you have people that are here & care for you & your girls.
  • Jopye Santos I feel u, Emma.. It’s d hardest thing in our lives to lose someone we love.. Grieving is really a killer when I lost my mom and sister within one yr. My sister is going to be one yr this October, I miss her terribly:(( my mom two yrs this nov. I still cry a lot. They will always be around to guide us, 24/7. Btw, I also said hi to Ronnie yesterday when we visited Nanay. Take one day at a time, Emma. U and d girls will pass all these with God’s help. Take care…
  • Emma Lu Thank you for the advice, words of comfort and hugs. You are all right. “It’s gonna take time, stay active, God has a plan, tears are good, we have to be strong, we have to move on…” Sigh *_* …
    Still, I stare at that big picture of his during the novena, and beneath my calm exterior, I just want to rant and rave. “Why? Why him? Why now? Why?” Then I remind myself I’m not the only one who has ever lost a loved one. After that, I am humbled and contrite, because in the grand scheme of things, we are so small and we don’t have a say in His plan or know the why’s and the wherefores of life…
    I’ll be okay, we’ll be okay. We are lucky to have this kind of support…
    Sometimes, it is just a relief to cry your eyes out. You may look like crap afterwards, but at least, you feel so much better…
  • Arlene Cavan Em, can’t say no more but stay strong for Chessa and Melanie. Hope to see you if ever I’ll have the chance to go there.
  • Elmer D. Permites Hi Em! Here is some words of encouragement and promise from the Bible. The very word of our Lord & Saviour, Jesus Christ. ” I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never die…” John 11:25-26.
  • Mari Anjeli Lubrica Hugs aunt ging, achie chessa, and mel-mel… sending all the love and prayers your way… I declare strength, joy, peace, and healing. Just take one day at a time, one step at a time.. we are all here for you…
  • Philjohn P. Dakay I’ve always thought that pain is love’s disease, Ems, and tears are our jagged little pills… This, too, shall pass…. Wishing you the very best…
  • Balot Flores “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow,but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” Leo Tolstoy…..
  • Trish Whaley Emma Don’t feel that you don’t deserve to cry and morn. Because others have lost a loved one. Accepting a death is very difficult, and you have to through the steps of acceptance, remember denial, anger, depression, and acceptance. I can’t remember one of steps. Maybe it is avoidE
    Bee
  • Trish Whaley Good to go to grieve counseling, all of you. We love you, take as much time as you need. MUch love, Trish
  • Antonio Roque Paradela Hi, Its not easy to lose a special someone and nobody says its easy. But he is not gone entirely you will feel him ,at times thingss seemed easier done. Then perhaps he is there just watchimg over you. He is in you not just in a dream.
    He died for a reason but only God knows why. And im pretty sure that it was for a very good reason.
    But we are not left alone for ronnie never did ever leave.
    When tears fall he is there just very near. But dont try ever to forget him for forever he is with you. Take care for ronnie cares for even at this moment. From dodong roque
  • Sairel Achumbre Lerias-Pacho Ate Em! I’m so very sorry and so sad to have heard about Kuya Ronnie. We were actually in the Philippines when we heard. Didn’t know exactly how it happened but please know that we are here for you and the girls. I also know how it felt/ feels to have lost a loved one ( with Gus’ mom suddenly passing away last December). Gus and I still tear up especially now that we have our daughter. We also still think she is on a long casino vacation trip. But please know that it gets a little easier especially with family and friend’s support. Hopefully we get to see each other soon. Love you guys!

 

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